Korean Proverbs: 2. 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다

Introduction

Literal Translation

Figurative Interpretation

English Equivalent

Synonyms

• "호랑이도 제 말 하면 온다" (Even a tiger will come running if you speak of it)

• "입은 비뚤어져도 말은 바로 해라" (Even if your mouth is crooked, speak correctly)

Antonyms

• "말 한마디로 천냥 빚을 갚는다" (A single word can pay off a thousand nyang of debt)

• "말이 씨가 된다" (Words become seeds)

Usage Examples

1. Customer Service: In a retail store, a customer approaches angrily about a defective product. The store manager calmly and politely addresses the customer's concerns. After the conversation, the customer leaves satisfied. An observing employee comments, “가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다더니, 매니저님 대응이 정말 대단해요.” (Translation: "It's true that 'if the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too.' The manager’s response was remarkable.")

2. Family Interaction: At a family dinner, a heated argument starts between siblings. The eldest, instead of escalating, speaks calmly and kindly, defusing the situation. Later, a family member notes, “역시 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다라는 말이 맞아. 형의 말투가 분위기를 다 바꿨어.” (Translation: "'If the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too' holds true. The older brother’s tone changed the entire atmosphere.")

3. Workplace Communication: During a team meeting, one member starts to criticize another harshly. The criticized team member responds with understanding and constructive feedback. A colleague later remarks, “가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다는 말이 여기서 딱 들어맞네. 긍정적인 태도가 분위기를 바꿨어요.” (Translation: "'If the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too' fits perfectly here. The positive attitude changed the atmosphere.")

4. Negotiations: In a business negotiation, one party starts with aggressive demands. The other party, maintaining composure and politeness, steers the conversation towards a mutual agreement. Afterwards, an observer comments, “가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다, 정말 그 말이 맞아요. 예의 있는 대화가 결국 좋은 결과를 가져왔죠.” (Translation: "'If the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too' is really true. Respectful conversation led to a good result.")

Simple Examples

1. Online Communities:
   가: "이 온라인 포럼에서 사람들이 왜 이렇게 공격적인지 모르겠어."
   나: "글쎄, 내 생각에는 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다고, 친절하게 글을 쓰면 다른 사람들도 더 친절하게 대답할 거야."
   (Translation: 가: "I don't understand why people in this online forum are so aggressive." 나: "Well, I think it's 'if the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too.' If you write kindly, others will respond kindly.")

2. School Setting:
   가: "오늘 선생님이 나에게 엄청 화를 냈어."
   나: "네가 먼저 불친절하게 말했잖아. 기억해, 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다."
   (Translation: 가: "The teacher got really angry at me today." 나: "But you spoke rudely first. Remember, 'if the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too.'")

3. Customer and Service Provider:
   가: "오늘 그 서비스 센터 직원이 너무 친절했어."
   나: "그래? 너도 그들에게 항상 예의 바르게 대하잖아."
   가: "맞아, 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다니까."
   (Translation: 가: "The staff at the service center was so kind today." 나: "Really? You're always polite to them, too." 가: "Right, it's 'if the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too.'")

4. In a Relationship:
   가: "내 친구가 파트너와 자주 다투는 것 같아."
   나: "그들이 서로에게 어떻게 말하는지 들어봤어?"
   가: "그렇지, 서로에게 존중하며 말하면 관계가 더 좋아질 거야. 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다고."
   (Translation: 가: "My friend seems to argue a lot with their partner." 나: "Have you heard how they speak to each other?" 가: "Exactly, if they speak to each other with respect, their relationship would improve. It's 'if the outgoing words are beautiful, the incoming words will be beautiful too.'")

Dialogue